Pregnancy Between Infertility Friends


When two women are friends and open their hearts to one another through the shared experience of infertility, there can be stress and strain on the relationship when one of the women becomes pregnant. Over the years I have heard many women share their grief over wondering how to best work through this difficulty and I just came across a helpful article that I wanted to share on the RESOLVE website. Here is an excerpt:

It would be rare to find a woman experiencing infertility who has not, at one time or another, found herself feeling unwanted emotions such as anger or envy toward other women for their pregnancies. Many women find this aspect of infertility the most difficult. Women in general tend to have great difficulty with experiences such as competition and envy; they are more comfortable connecting with each other through collaboration and support. The experience of infertility often results in women suddenly feeling separate and “on the outside,” without the support and understanding that they have grown to rely upon from trusted friends. Women experiencing infertility are often unable to provide support to their pregnant friends because it is simply too painful to do so. The onslaught of painful, primitive emotions that women experiencing infertility may feel in response to other women’s pregnanacies can be quite shocking: Some women may feel that they no longer recognize themselves. Often, women pull away and isolate, suffering in loneliness and silence.....

Click here to read the full article.

In Canada, we have a similar support network to RESOLVE that is called IAAC (Infertility Awareness Association of Canada). There is a Victoria IAAC group that meets once a month and there is also a wonderful counsellor, Jennifer Vining, who has a special interest in working with people with issues related to infertility and reproductive health.

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